Fission and fusion. 

Merriam Webster's Dictionary defines fission as "the splitting or breaking up into parts." Nuclear fission occurs when a "large, somewhat unstable isotope (atoms with the same number of protons, but different number of neutrons) is bombarded by high-speed particles, usually neutrons." This splitting of atoms results in a lot of heat energy. Cultural fission is when an unstable community with diverse micro-cultures is bombarded with divisive forces, creating a splitting of the community.

On the other hand, fusion is defined as "a merging of separate elements into a unified whole." Nuclear fusion is "the union of atomic nuclei to form heavier nuclei, resulting in the release of enormous amounts of energy." It occurs under conditions of extreme pressure and temperature. The sun is powered by nuclear fusion. Cultural fusion would be the merging of separate micro-cultures into a single, unified community-- usually resulting from pressure, but creating enormous amounts of energy and light. 

For our project, we focused on what we'll call a "micro-culture" within what we'll call a "macro-culture." The micro-culture we studied was the LGBT community within the macro-culture of BYU. We wanted to know how members of the micro-culture fit in and interacted with the macro-culture as a whole. The reference point in time or event we chose was that of the 2016 Presidential Election. Pre-Trump, did LGBT students feel they could be open about their orientation? Did they feel accepted by their peers? What was the effect (or following reactions) of Trump being elected to office-- fission (the breaking up or division between LGBT and straight students), or fusion (a unification of all members of the macro-culture, creating an influx of positive energy)? 

Speaking in terms of nuclear power, fission is more practical because it is more easily controlled, while fusion is difficult to controll and it is very expensive to create the right conditions. Culturally speaking, we wanted to analyze which reaction to the singular event we picked the students within the BYU macro-culture were more apt to create. Human nature tends to turn to fission, or divisiveness, in times of pressure. However, fusion is more desirable. 

In analyzing the type of energy created by this occurrence and how both LGBT and straight BYU students felt about it, we chose six very different individuals that identified all over the spectrum. As we listened to what they each had to say, we came to realize that, even though they were all very unique in their viewpoints and walks of life, they all wanted the same thing-- a more unified whole. Even though all discussed certain aspects of their experiences in which fission, or a breaking apart, was the result, without exception the overarching desire of each was fusion. Each wanted more dialogue, each wanted more peace, each wanted more coming together.

AIDAN

As a transgender student recently returned from a Texas mission, Aidan shares why, though he has witnessed fission reactions at BYU, he thinks Trump being elected to the presidency could have a fusion effect between LGBT and some straight students.

I’m about as publicly out as you can be. It makes me most comfortable. I don’t like feeling like I have something to hide. At least in my case it’s somewhat apparent because I’m in the middle of transitioning. It’s not as easy to hide as being gay. That might be one reason why I’m out.

I’m really lucky in that I have great roommates and a great ward. I have a small creative writing class in which I’ve written a nonfiction essay about trans-issues, so I was out to them all and they were all very nice about it. There are the fears that you’ll get reported. There are people who’ve been reported and kicked out, so there is some reality to that, but also there’s a lot of us that are out and we’re fine. People get reported for things they unintentionally do. If I were to hug someone, or if someone knew about me and saw me at lunch with another girl… I don’t know what they would think… “This person’s going on dates!” 

My roommate that is more conservative doesn’t engage as much [in political conversations], but we’ve discussed issues before, and it’s all fine and comfortable. I’ve really only engaged with the more liberal members of my ward. 

The first day after the election there was a professor who invited students who weren’t taking it well to come get cookies in her office. We just felt the sadness together and joked about it until we felt better. There was a peaceful protest in front of the JFSB. There were some signs that said, “We love you no matter your race/gender/sexuality…” And those things are nice to see— to see people that care how the minorities feel. And there are plenty of minorities here: plenty of women, plenty of people from other parts of the world, plenty of people who feel affected by it. But I’ve seen a general coming-together, which is the best. More love… a community feel. It’s like a wake-up call to say that we have a lot of problems in America! Feminism is still a relevant thing. We still have problems. That’s one thing I’ve seen that’s awesome. 

I’ve seen some things on Facebook from people around here that seem to be hateful— that’s the thing with Trump, that somehow he’s promoted this culture of hating or misunderstanding people. Intolerance. It’s unfortunate. I hear stuff, and when you hear stuff that happens nearby it makes you shiver it your boots a bit. Who knows who thinks that way or who might do something? It makes me more uneasy if I am out at an event in Provo with friends. I hear people say awful things, like using the “f—“ slur. The fear is irrational, but it makes you nervous when people start talking like that. What I’ve personally seen is more than unifying effect. My hope is that we’ll put more love out there than they can put hate. 

I’ve heard plenty of things that are hurtful. People don’t mean it. They tend to not thing there are LGBT people on campus. They don’t think it matters what they say because they’re all like, “Why would they want to go to BYU?” But there are plenty of us here. Also in classes, especially religion classes— like allusions to destroying the family. We hear that a lot. 

CALEB

Though he desires fusion, Caleb shares his experiences of fission within the BYU macro-culture that lead him to search for a different community.

I’m from Rexburg, ID, and it’s my second or third year here at BYU, but I don’t have a major [yet] because I’m going to transfer to the U next semester… I hope to go into set design. BYU is not really the safest place for me to be myself or to explore my life options so I’m gonna go somewhere else. I used to feel like I wasn’t sure if I was safe or not talking about my orientation--I wanted to come out a long time before I did. I came out in public on Facebook in April, but I told everyone a few months before that. So I spent a year here where I just tried to hide it completely. I don’t know if I’ve ever really felt unsafe but sometimes I felt uncomfortable because of things professors say or how students react to those things. I think it’s mostly religion professors who talk about gay people as this non-human other [that’s] trying to destroy the family and I’m sitting there like, “Hey, I’m right here…”

So that ma[kes] me a little uncomfortable, but I’ve never felt unsafe—which is good, I guess. There have been times since then where, I’ve never felt physically unsafe, but the two big things are the policy change and the election, and those have definitely heightened my discomfort and feeling of emotional unsafe-ness because everyone talks about this dissonance when you are gay and Mormon. I feel like BYU is kind of like that because this generation is more accepting and wants to be supportive, but they don’t exactly know how. Then something like the policy change or the election happens and it seems to tip the scale away from the LGBT community. 

I had a friend who sat beside someone in a class and they really hit it off and started a great conversation. Another peer came in and sat down the two students found out they were both Trump supporters and [initiated] a pretty serious conversation, and it left my friend [feeling left] out because she didn’t know if she could or should continue the conversation and it just cut off the line of communication... 

I feel like a lot of people make sincere efforts to include LGBT people and, while they might not be perfect at it, as long as they will take advice to be more inclusive, it turns into a good environment. 

Realizing everyone has their own path and their own way of learning things is essential to creating a good environment and the path to learning is equally important for all people. Many LGBT people had an attitude of “he’ll grow out of it” when I was trying to balance my religious beliefs with my sexual orientation and I found that offensive. Likewise, people on the other side had equally dismissive attitudes about my journey. What is most important is that people learn their lessons and they learn them in the way they are intended to learn them. Discouragement hinders the learning experience. 

LOGAN

As a conservative business student at BYU, Logan shares how he feels students should foster more friendships and create more fusion between LGBT and straight students.

LGBT [students] should feel more open now that Trump is elected. I think that the vast majority of BYU students, even if they voted for him, don’t agree with Trump and his social opinions. I think Trump getting elected is more of a rallying cry to conservatives to say, ‘Yeah, we’re conservative, but we don’t agree with him.” Even though I’m conservative and not apart of the LGBT community, and in the past haven’t supported it, now that Trump has been elected, I feel more of a responsibility to be nurturing and caring and accepting because I understand that we need to show them that we are not like that, and that they are loved and accepted.”

If I [were] gay and I saw that the people around me were a lot less supportive of my values, I would be a lot less likely to be open. 

I didn’t vote for Trump, but I prefer Trump to Hilary… on the basis of small government, [fewer[ government-funded programs, and conservative values like the traditional family… then yeah, I support Trump in that aspect. Do I support his personal and actual plans on his opinions? No, that’s why I didn’t vote for him. 

I think that your political candidate should reflect what you hope would happen in society, but that didn’t happen this year, I don’t think, for Democrats or Republicans. I have a friend who’s a member of the LGBT community who voted for Trump. He’s openly gay and he voted for Trump because he knows that Trump stands for the very basics of what [my friend] believes in [about government.] Not that I’ve heard that Trump has every said anything specifically targeting the LGBT community. In fact, in his Republican National Convention speech, he said he would do whatever he could to protect them. So I don’t think he has anything against the LGBT community. You do see that more against Muslim, and what he says about them I totally disagree with as well.  I think that members of the LGBT community need to look more into what that person believes in personally, not necessarily who they voted for. 

I would love to see the LGBTQ community hold a meet-and-greet, or a panel, where I can get to know them. I have no hard feelings against them, and I would hope that they would have no hard feelings against me either, and that we would be friends. I do have friends that are part of this community. I would like to see for BYU, a coming-together event where we get to know each other. I know that the LGBTQ community is hidden at BYU— I would like it to be public. Maybe get the student body involved in an unofficial BYU event, where anyone who wants to could come and we can get together and talk. I’m here because I want to be your friend.

RANDALL

As a gay father trying to live an LDS lifestyle, Randall shares why he feels the LGBT community should not be afraid of Trump and why he wants to have more transparency at church about problems and differences-- the lack of which, he feels, creates fission within the community.

I didn’t know I was gay until I was thirty-two. My ex-wife approached me and said, “Look at what you do— you’re gay!” And she gave me some examples, and I was like, “Oh… maybe I am…” That kind of blew my mind. I grew up in the ’70’s  where the word “gay” was thrown around as a naughty word. So they called everybody gay— I didn’t even know what it meant at first. I grew up with this idea that, “I’m LDS. I’m supposed to marry women. I’m supposed to go on a mission.” And now that I know I’m gay, I can look back across my life and see that I dated women only to take a girl to prom. I wasn’t interested, really. Back then, though, I wouldn’t have been comfortable coming out. The people my age were so slanderous about gay people. But now, at work I work mostly with young people, people who just came home from or about to go on missions, and those people I have no problem coming out to. But my peers, it’s much harder to come out to. They don’t understand. It’s really weird to them. It’s harder to be accepted with my peers. 

My personal viewpoint is that I don’t want to get into a personal relationship with a guy. I believe in the LDS beliefs and that marriage is sacred between a man and a woman, and I don’t want to break that. I hold those values very strongly. That’s just who I am. I don’t want to date guys because it will lead to emotional stuff, and it will lead to me hurting them and myself because I can’t marry them. For me, I prayed and I felt like God said I could date guys, but not have eternal life with them. And that’s important to me. But I can’t judge others and their experiences, because I don’t know. 

I haven’t come out to anybody [in my mid-singles ward]. But if I came out, I think the people would be really accepting and fine with it. 

All my gay friends are freaking out, but I voted for Trump and I like Trump. I don’t see an issue. He’s from New York and he’s used to gay people being around. I don’t think he’s going to go into office and change all these laws. I think everyone in the gay community is safe. Honestly, my Republican friends, and everyone who did vote for Trump in my ward, and my parents— it’s not really an issue with them either. They’re not paying attention to that side of it. They’re paying more attention to changes he’s going to make in the government and society, trying to encourage job growth and lowering taxes and making sure the constitution is upheld. But none of that has anything to do with whether gays get married or not. I think that the way that it happened was wrong. I think that it should be a state issue. But I don’t think Trump is even going to have that on his radar. 

`My big beef is with the “Happy Valley” mentality of LDS Mormons and how they’re so judgmental. You go to church and everybody puts on their perfect outfits with their perfect life, and they have no problems and everything is wonderful. But when I get to know them, everyone has problems but they don’t want you to see their problems. And they don’t want to talk about their problems in church, even though church is where we should be talking about our problems and sharing our problems and getting support for our problems. My home bishop has done a really good job of trying to encourage that. There are certain people that are more open now that they’ve overcome they’re problems, but those amidst their problems are not talking about them. And that just makes me more afraid to come out, because of people being judgmental, and the lack of openness. I think that culture still pervades our macro-culture  here in Utah Valley, and that makes me sad because that’s not how we make friends and that’s not how we encourage people to go to church. I think that hurts the open dialogue of anything.

HARRISON

Harrison shares his unique perspective as a student living in the freshman dorms, and how he has observed fission-promoting behaviors within this even smaller BYU micro-community.

This is an issue that’s close to me. With my gay friends, it’s something you kind of have to keep under wraps here, which is really hard because sexuality is something so integral to who you are. Having to suppress that, or find people who are cool with that, is really hard. Especially recently, with the change in church policies and Trump. Now that he’s been elected, people now have a platform to say things that previously would have been offensive. I live on campus in Helaman Halls with a bunch of other guys, and I know people who support Trump. Amongst guys, they take it as a excuse to say things that aren’t PC. Some guys have flags and signs out and everything. 

I remember this vividly: I was walking to my room, and there were three guys talking about Trump. And one of them said, “I’m not sexist, I’m not racist, but I gotta stand up for what I believe in.” I just think that sounds kind of silly, but I think that’s the line of thinking. I don’t think these people think of themselves as being racist, or sexist, or homophobic. 

I think that Trump is just a way for people to express their frustration. He doesn’t really stand for anything— I mean, he is whoever you want him to be. I think it’s a lot of people reacting to PC culture. I don’t think PC culture is going away. I think Trump got elected because people are mad about it, that they used to be able to say certain things, or that certain views used to be acceptable. And they’re frustrated they can’t say those things anymore.

I feel like BYU has a way of being kind of closed-off. It’s not especially diverse. I think it has a way of, even though it’s already insular, becoming even more insular by the people it brings in to give lectures. My professors talk about these lectures on campus. I’ve been to some, and they generally are more conservative. I know that BYU isn’t an explicitly conservative school… but it tends to self-select and create a conservative atmosphere. It creates a sense that there’s this group and everyone has to think the same.  

MORGAN

Having a fear of cultural fission, Morgan discusses her experiences with LGBT family members and how they were able to achieve fusion-- something she hopes to inspire in the BYU community.

I have friends from high school who are gay and I have some family members who are gay so I also wanted to be reassured there are people at BYU who are supportive of the LGBT community because it’s kind of a gray area in the church.

There was an event outside the JFBS in which people from BYU Democrats or Students International had a pledge that people could sign to be kind to all racial minorities, religious minorities-- just to be kind to all people no matter what. People passed by wondering if it was an anti-Trump thing, and it might have been spurned by them because it was the day after the election. It wasn’t like we were trying to protest Trump, but people took it as being anti-Trump. People would still sign it because you can’t look at the pledge and not sign it. I just feel like there is a divide between [Hillary supporters and Trump supporters] and I feel like it would have been very hard to be a part of the LGBT community at BYU during the election because Utah voted 50% for Trump.

[Some] people use slang terms like gay meaning dumb. I feel like people should be more sensitive about those things like how people threw around the word retard-- just be self-aware. There are people who are dealing with things around you, so don't make derogatory jokes-- not just about gays but about anyone. It’s a little easier for me since I have grown up with people that I knew who were gay, but [regardless of whether or not you did], everyone should remember that everyone needs to feel love and accepted. That’s like number one in the hierarchy of needs: to feel connected to others. Just in day-to-day living, never be derogatory of other people. Love them so they feel they can trust you.

CONCLUSION

Though each of the remarkable individuals we talked with had very different backgrounds and points of view, each wanted more unifying resolutions. We feel that as we continue to open up this conversation we will be able to find the most effective solutions to ignite a fusion reaction within the BYU macro-community so that all will be able to find love and acceptance regardless of viewpoint or orientation. 

Morgan Reber and Russell Hitchcock

Cited:

Fission vs. Fusion – What's the Difference?
Duke Energy - https://nuclear.duke-energy.com/2013/01/30/fission-vs-fusion-whats-the-difference

Imagination and Fancy: How Stress is Making You a Bad Voter

Few topics summon emotions more heated than the 2016 American Presidential Elections because few presidential candidates have been more controversial and despised by the public than Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton. We seem to have turned around a dark corner in our history, passing into unfamiliar territory in which we are electing our commander-in-chief based on the mantra, “Which is the lesser of two evils?” We have somehow chosen two of the most outrageous candidates in the election and pitted them against each other in a furious, mud-slinging battle of, “I know you are, but what am I?” However, America’s decision to nominate these two specific individuals can actually be philosophically and psychologically explained.

When examining the role that Samuel Taylor Coleridge’s Primary and Secondary Imaginations play in the assimilation of information and the creation of perception, and the result of the brain chemically changing under stress, it really is little wonder that the two most hysteria-inducing presidential candidates were chosen as their parties’ nominees.

First, let us examine Coleridge’s Primary and Secondary Imagination.

“The primary IMAGINATION I hold to be the living Power and prime Agent of all human Perception, and as a repetition in the finite mind of the eternal act of creation in the infinite I AM. The secondary I consider as an echo of the former, co-existing with the conscious will, yet still as identical with the mode of its operation. It dissolves, diffuses, dissipates, in order to re-create…” (585-586)

In other words, Coleridge asserted that the mind does not just reflect the information being presented, but rather creates and gives meaning to experiences. The Primary Imagination gives us the capability to remember and picture what we have experienced: for example, a streaming of the presidential debates, or a YouTube video of the latest political scandal. The Primary Imagination would allow us to recall the experience.

The Secondary Imagination, on the other hand, helps us to create the world around us as we perceive it. It’s what helps us to synthesize individual or discordant pieces to form a whole; it finds the commonality or relativity, and then the meaning of the resulting figure. “Reason can only enumerate, divide and analyze. It is confined to the realm of what is already known, or perceived, or experienced, while imagination is the agent of innovation, novelty, originality and genius, in it the capacity to unite into new wholes previously unrelated elements.” (Wheeler 1989, p. 99). Imagination is “the senses, emotions, intuition, intellect, will—all human powers brought into harmonious action.” (Sherwood 1975, p. 26)

It is the Secondary Imagination that helps us to read about a candidate’s platform, learn of their public and private life, watch them in the debates, and create an intelligent opinion based on these facts. The Secondary Imagination is necessary for a strong political standpoint and good decision-making in general.

The problem is that the imagination is a part of the brain that is impaired by a chemical called cortisol—a chemical that is secreted when an individual experiences stress. In 2011, European Neuropsychopharmacology published a study in which the cortisol-levels of voters were measured before voting, and then connections were made between voters with high levels of cortisol and their voting patterns:

“…human experiments indicate that when cortisol was administered to participants prior to viewing arousing pictures (independent of their valance) and neutral ones, the former were remembered better than the latter (Kuhlmann and Wolf, 2006)…”

So we are more likely to have an impression made on us and remember the most emotionally-arousing candidates when our stress-levels are high. The study goes on to state that when cortisol was administered to human participants of the experiment, memory retrieval was impaired, even in recalling events that had occurred only the day before. This, however, is not the most dangerous side-effect.

“Cortisol administration also increases reward-seeking and risk-taking behavior, likely due to the increase in dopaminergic activity (Marinelli et al., 1998 and Putman et al., 2010). Similarly, stress-induced cortisol has significant effects on cognition. Acute stress disrupts decision-making (Keinan et al., 1987, Preston et al., 2007 and Porcelli and Delgado, 2009), making those with higher levels of cortisol more sensitive to immediate rewards than those with lower levels (Piazza et al., 1993, Adam and Epel, 2007 and Newman et al., 2007). The former are also more prone to making snap decisions, indicative of a loss of top-down control (Keinan et al., 1987 and Porcelli and Delgado, 2009). Cortisol administered individuals are much more risk seeking when the probability of losing and winning is high, a pattern that reflects the combined effect of reduced sensitivity to cues of punishment and increased sensitivity to reward (Putman et al., 2010).” (2011)

So are we just over-stressed as a nation? The answer is yes. The American Psychological Association actually released a document titled “Stress in America: U.S. Presidential Election 2016” which featured numbers reporting that the stress-levels of members of both parties are significantly higher than normal this election. (2016)

Expanding our view to the world stage, it has been a very stressful last couple of years for the entire globe. Issues such as ISIS, the refugee crisis, the war in Ukraine, Syria, the events leading up to the Black Lives Matter movement, and various other shootings of sexual and racial minorities, just to name a few, have really taken a toll on American voters. Our heightened cortisol-levels are leading us, in our state of impaired-imagination, to be drawn to the more extreme, attention-grabbing candidates, to forget certain key factors or traits of the candidates, and to take risks.

If the Primary Imagination and Secondary Imagination lead us to comprehend parts and create a whole, to make calculated decisions and be able to project future probability, then what part of the mind are we using to select our presidential candidates? Coleridge would answer that we are employing Fancy.

He states that “Fancy… has no other counters to play with, but fixities and definites. The Fancy is indeed no other than a mode of Memory emancipated from the order of time and space; and blended with, and modified by that empirical phenomenon of the will, which we express by the word CHOICE. But equally with the ordinary memory it must receive all its materials ready made from the law of association.” (586)

Fancy is taking ready-made chunks of experience and sticking them together to form a sort of mutant experience. It would be the equivalent of watching various programs on Fox News or CBS, taking the pre-digested, pre-prepped feed of views and smacking them together to create a Frankenstein’s monster of an opinion. There is no merging or assimilation of data, there is no creation of meaning—there is only an acceptance and accumulation of the stories promulgated by one’s already chosen source of information.

This is, of course, not new in the sphere of American politics. We choose our camps and then we stick with them. The problem is when, out of fear and stress, we take risks we are unable and unwilling to calculate. I would argue that the reason why this particular election is causing Americans such a great amount of stress is because the candidates are, in fact, purposefully fear-pandering. As their campaigns play to our anxieties and our suspicions (of terrorism, of leaked emails, of secret deals, of sex abuse scandals, etc.), predicting doomsday-like endings should the opponent win the presidency, our cortisol-levels continue to rise until we find ourselves on the threshold of a national panic attack. One only needs to turn on the TV to see the bloody smear campaign the left-wing media is waging on Trump, or watch footage of a Trump rally in which supporters are whipped into a violent, animalistic frenzy, to realize that both candidates are using the same sadistic tactic. They’re aiming to gun down the Secondary Imagination.

Though Coleridge, as a Romantic and a Transcendentalist, would argue that it is us who hold ultimate control over our minds, I would attest that the mental Imagination resides within the physical brain. Just as it is true that a student, having slept for eight hours, is more likely to write a cohesive and creative essay than another who slept for only two, we are only able to mentally process as much as the confines of the physical brain allow us.

So, if outside influences have the ability to affect us mentally, what is to be done? Must we give way to the Trumps and Hillarys who stroke our ever-mounting panic in an almost dystopian-like maneuver to shut down our minds for the sake of their power? Though we may not be able to shut out the barrage of distressing messages flung at us on the daily, Coleridge’s Secondary Imagination does grant us the ability to decide how we listen. Once those cortisol-levels rise, our brain is affected and our faculties are already impaired.

However, if we choose to be selective, if we choose to be wary of sensationalism, if we choose hope over fear, and balance over extremism, we will be able to maintain a cool head and a clear mind and a working Secondary Imagination. It is the scared animal inside of us that can be shut down, but it is the wise and autonomous human being that does not find pleasure in being frightened into employing Fancy and swallowing pre-chewed chunks of information. He recognizes the tell-tale signs of stress, steps back, takes a breath, and uses his Secondary Imagination to find a creative solution. So the next time you scour the internet, feeding on the horde of fear-mongering Facebook posts, do your cortisol-levels a favor and stop. Your country will thank you for it.  

     

“APA Survey Reveals 2016 Presidential Election Source of Significant Stress for More Than Half of Americans,” 13 Oct. 2016. www.apa.org.  Washington D.C. Retrieved 27 Oct. 2016

Coleridge, Samuel “From Biographia Literaria,” The Norton Anthology of Theory and Criticism. Leitch, Vincent, ed. 2^nd ed. W. W. Norton and Co. New York. 2010.

Hope, Jensen Schau (2000) "Consumer Imagination, Identity and Self-Expression", in NA - Advances in Consumer Research, Volume 27, eds. Stephen J. Hoch and Robert J. Meyer, Provo, UT: Association for Consumer Research, Pages: 50-56.

Sherwood, Margaret (1937), Coleridge’s Imaginative Conception of the Imagination, Wellesley, Mass: Wellesley Press.

Waismel-Manor, Israel et al. (2011) “When Endocrinology and Democracy Collide: Emotions, Cortisol and Voting at National Elections”

European Neuropsychopharmacology, Volume 21, Issue 11, 789 – 795

Peanut Butter, Lemon Poppyseed, and Raisin Pecan Vegan, GF, and Sugar-free Cookies

It's been quite a little while since I've posted a recipe, so I figured it was high time I whipped up a little treat that my vegan, my gluten-free, and my sugar-free friends can all enjoy! Many moons ago, I posted about your basic oat cookie. Consider this the Oat Cookie 2.0! The new-and-improved edition! The rare sequel that was better than the original! Well... you get the picture.

These cookies are kid- and mommy-approved! (And let me tell you, those are two groups that are not easy to please...) But as far as sweet-teeth and health-nazis are concerned, these cookies (while maybe not exactly what you want to serve at a birthday party) are perfect for breakfast, post-workout re-charge, and a good ol' snack for anytime.

What You'll Need:

Base for all cookies:
Quick Oats
Stevia or honey
2 bananas
Cinnamon

For the Peanut Butter Cookies:
2-3 spoonfuls of sugar-free peanut butter

For the Lemon Poppyseed Cookies:
1smaaaaalll lemon, or 1/2 regular-sized; juice and zest
1 tsp. Almond extract
Poppyseeds

For the Raisin Pecan Cookies:
Sugar-free raisins
Pecans


Once you mash the bananas, using a fork, stir in enough quick oats so that you form a thick, dough-y base. You shouldn't see any banana chunks. Stir in a dash of cinnamon, and as much stevia or honey as you desire. Divide the mixture into three equal parts for the three different cookie flavors, stir in the add-ins, add a sprinkling of lemon zest and poppyseeds on top of the Lemon and Poppyseed Cookies, and pop in a 375 degree, pre-heated oven for about 15 minutes or until the edges are browned, and Voila! Feel free to dip in almond milk.

The Giver of Good Gifts

If there's one thing I've learned about the personality of our Heavenly Father, it is that He is incredibly giving. Merciful? Most definitely. Wise? The wisest. These are most definitely attributes of godhood. Heavenly Father is all of these things and more. In His role as a divine parent, He is also a giver of gifts. We read in Matthew 7:9-11: "What man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?"

I have been reflecting lately on the many extraordinary and sometimes overlooked gifts our Heavenly Father gives to us. Of course, we are grateful for the gift of life, of families, of education, of the gospel, and of the Atonement. These gifts are everything. Several weeks ago I was attending the Provo temple by myself, trying to regain that special and beautiful spirit I felt had dwindled a bit while the temple was closed for the previous two weeks. Before those two weeks, I felt as if I had been trekking a spiritual mountain and was making good time. I was doing everything I was supposed to and attended the temple as often as I could, which sometimes meant a couple times a week. After the temple was closed, though, I felt like I was cramping as I tried to match my same pace. Part of that struggle was keeping that fire and excitement about serving a mission alive.

I sat in one of the pews, waiting to do baptisms, trying to focus on the scriptures I was reading. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed the girl sitting next to me was smiling and trying to catch my eye. Though I'm still not completely in the practice of striking up conversations with strangers, I felt one of those so-subtle-it-barely-registers maybe-I-should-talk-to-her feelings and so I said hello and we talked a little bit about who we were and our majors and laughed about how we were the only 20+ people doing baptisms in a sea of youth.

As the conversation petered out, I suddenly felt a hey-maybe-this-is-a-prompting-but-maybe-not feeling that I should share the story of my decision to serve a mission with her. I crossed my fingers that she wouldn't think I was a windbag as I randomly began talking about how I had to rely on promptings and faith instead of logic and plans in my decision to serve a mission, about how I really just had to let go of my own ideas about my life and trust that the Lord will show me the way one step at a time and how that has brought me so much peace. She nodded politely as I talked and I thought to myself, "Well, crap-- I must have read that wrong."

We both ended up just talking about how much we love the temple and feel so much peace when we are there. She said, "I just love the temple so much. I feel like every time I come, I am uplifted and talk with someone who says exactly what I needed to hear... I've actually been struggling with my desire to have my own plans work out in my education in the nursing school. I really appreciated hearing your story about having enough faith in the Lord to let go and let Him lead you."

As I walked home from the temple, the sky fading to pink as the sun began to set, I felt dumbfounded. And overwhelmed. And incredibly, incredibly grateful to Heavenly Father for that sweet, special, perfect gift He had just given me-- the gift of confidence in myself to listen to promptings. I was worried about my ability to always be a vessel for the Holy Ghost as a missionary and Heavenly Father knew that. In His infinite wisdom and goodness, instead of just making me feel good again He gave me the gift of an opportunity to grow. He helped me to know that even after a rough week (or two, or more) with His help I can get back to where I was spiritually, regain my footing, and once again be able to hear and respond to even the subtlest of promptings. He wanted me to know that I don't have to be perfect 100% of the time to be a good missionary, that I don't have to feel downhearted when I mess up or have a difficult time feeling the spirit as strongly. This might seem like just the littlest thing but it was an incredible testament to the infinite kindness of our Heavenly Father. He is so incredibly kind. He is a giver of good gifts. What gifts has Heavenly Father given you today?

The Gays of BYU: Part Two

I've learned two very important things that must be considered when addressing homosexuality from an LDS perspective: 1) We cannot fully comprehend the mind of our Heavenly Father, therefore we must exercise faith. 2) We are each incredibly precious and beloved of our Savior, Jesus Christ.

When my co-writer, Jason, and I did our first interviews after attending a USGA (Understanding Same-Gender Attraction) meeting, we were honestly at a loss of how to communicate some of the simple facts and stories we heard in an article for the BYU magazine, Insight. We were given accounts of blatant bullying, prejudice, and alienation-- all instances that occurred here at BYU. Though many do open their arms and their hearts to their brothers and sisters who struggle with same-gender attraction, many do not. Too many people at BYU, people who have taken a covenant to "stand as a witness of Christ at all times, and in all things, and in all places" have either decided to ignore the situation or let themselves be instruments of unkindness, intolerance, fear, and ignorance.

When we examine the life of Christ, we see that He loved and ministered to all men-- lepers, outcasts, sinners-- everyone. His love does not extend to most all but stop at those whose struggles were foreign to him. His heart, His love, His grace, His Atonement knows no boundaries. It is available in endless quantities to all. Sometimes we assume that we are disciples of Christ just because we go to Church, say our prayers, read our scriptures, do our callings, and pay our tithing. These are all things we must do to be true disciples of Christ, but I believe that we must dedicate the entirety of our hearts to walking His path, feeding his sheep, and ministering to His flock before we can feel satisfied in our work. We must love and serve, following Christ's example, but with the knowledge that judgement belongs to Him.

Heavenly Father's beautiful Plan of Salvation defines marriage to be between a man and a woman. Our prophets have that declared acting on homosexual feelings is sinful. Obediently holding to these teachings does not make one a bigot. Merriam Webster defines a bigot as "a person who strongly and unfairly dislikes other people, ideas, etc... a person who hates or refuses to accept members of a particular group (such as a racial or religious group.)" Neither the teachings nor the life of Christ resemble this in the slightest. Our Savior openly and adamantly preaches against engaging in this type of behavior and having these feelings towards others.

The majority of the members of USGA are faithful Church members who promote BYU's Honor Code and work to maintain the law of chastity. They believe that, even though they do not fully understand why they are attracted to people of the same sex, if they continue faithfully, Heavenly Father will bless them in following His plan for them. Some have said that they believe they were born this way to teach them humility and charity. Some have said that they believe that this attraction is apart of their eternal identity. Others interpret Christ's teachings on a more personal level and decide different courses of action for themselves. There are some who attend USGA who have fallen away from the Church, either temporarily or permanently, and who attempt to figure out their lives alone. Regardless of where these brothers and sisters are in their testimonies, each deserves love. Love uplifts, gives strength, bears testimony, ministers, and teaches. We are commanded to love all, whether or not we understand them.

It was a struggle finding the perfect balance for our article, but we were finally able to write a concise, pointed piece that we hope will stimulate a wider-reaching conversation on campus concerning this issue and help people understand the role they play in creating an environment where the spirit of love can flourish.

You can find a link to the online Insight article, "A Candid Conversation," here.  For more information regarding the LDS perspective on homosexuality, visit mormonsandgays.org.

The Gays of BYU: Part One

Mormons Building Bridges march in Pride Parade Salt Lake City 2013

I recently read a Princeton Review article that called BYU 6th least-friendly campus towards homosexuals in the nation. (Since the actual article is unavailable to people without an account with the Review, the list can also be found here.) The poll was taken from a nation-wide, anonymous survey. While this ranking may not be shocking to some, it was shocking to me. As a student of BYU, I have always been under the assumption that our school (like our religion) was built on pillars of love, forgiveness, and Christ-like charity that extends to all, regardless of beliefs. From all of the material I've read about the LDS Church's stance on homosexuality, I was also under the assumption that we believe there is no sin in the actual orientation (tendency, predisposition-- whatever you want to call it) itself. I felt like there was a marked difference between the people and the practice, and that anyone who abides by the Honor Code is a welcome and valid student at BYU. So why were we ranked as being so extremely unfriendly towards our fellow students who identify themselves as gay?

My fellow Insight Magazine writer, Jason, and I felt like this title must be false and undeserved and we were determined to discover the truth. As we interviewed openly gay students in USGA (Understanding Same Gender Attraction-- the unofficial BYU club for LGB students), we realized the story was much bigger than we had previously imagined. Since the article that will be published on Insight's website will likely only be able to cover a small portion of the story (and only from a particular angle), I want to share as much of the story and our journey to find the truth as I can on this blog. We know that the subject of homosexuality and the LDS religion is a sensitive one, and we are grateful for the respect shown by all who have participated in the making of this article so far and ask the same respect of any who choose to carry on the conversation and comment on the subsequent installments. We also want to state that our only aim is truth and understanding and that there is no political agenda in this article. Stay tuned for part one!

Miles to Go Before I Sleep

Tonight, my family made the four hour trek from Dallas back home to Oklahoma. We generally do our best to stay away from road trips (two parents, five kids, and a dog all squished into a suburban isn't always the most relaxing situation), but we made an exception to attend the annual Christmas party with the extended family down south. Everyone but myself and the driver had fallen asleep,  the backseat a tangled mess of heads on laps, legs in the air, with a snoozing dog inexplicably woven through. My face was pressed up against the cold, foggy glass, and I gazed out the window as the black silhouettes of trees against a sky of deepest blue, peppered with stars, fell into the distance behind us. The lines from one of Frost's poems ran through my head over and over, stuck like a broken record: The woods are lovely, dark and deep. But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep.

Though the Christmas party was the official excuse for our visit, the real reason was my great-grandmother (known affectionately to her family as "Nanny"). Her health had taken a sharp, downward spiral and, with more than a handful of scares under her belt, we felt she deserved the company of all of her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren this Christmas. We all went to drink her in, the "just in case" sitting silently on our tongues.

Nanny is a very tiny woman with thin lips, straight white hair with sharp, Dutch-boy bangs, and clear hazel eyes that glow from behind her glasses. She likes things "just so." After tipping my hat to the cousins, I clung to her side like ivy for the duration of the party. I held her heavy oxygen tank, awkwardly attempting to not step on her heels as she walked from the living room to the kitchen and back again. I explained the concept of a "white elephant" to her and tried to keep her from getting a bum deal from the crafty relatives.

She has never really been one for stories, but that night she told me about how, as a young mother in the fifties, she saw an African American woman walking home from the grocery store carrying big bags of food. Nanny pulled over and offered her a ride, but the woman shook her head and said that her parents taught her to never get in the car with a white person. Not to be deterred, Nanny offered to at least drive the woman's groceries back to her house and leave them on the porch for her so that she wouldn't have to carry them home. Every week after that, Nanny would drive the woman's groceries home for her.

I laughed maybe a little too hard at the comments she made about her two husbands ("Frank had hair covering his whole body, but Mack had hardly any at all. And that wasn't the only difference, if you know what I mean..." And then she graced us with a ladylike wink.)

As we said goodbye before my family squeezed ourselves back into the suburban, Nanny clutched my hand and said, "Think of me when you get married someday." She caught herself and quickly said, tightening her grip on my hand, "Or maybe I'll just stick around to see it myself. How about that?"

I've never really understood the poem, "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening" before. Now I think I do. As I looked out at the dark forest through the frosty window, I imagined my Nanny walking between the trees, unhindered by her oxygen tank or her walker. Maybe she was carrying someone else's groceries. I wondered to whom she had promises to keep. To past husbands? To dead mothers ("It's so nice you have a mom you can talk to. I was always able to talk to mine. I wish I could now.")? To me? Her image faded in the yellow light of an approaching town, street lamps, a boarded-up bar called The Watering Hole, gas stations, trees, forest, blackness...

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.